How to be More Confident
We all know and admire those women who handle situations boldly and with confidence in all areas of their lives. We wish to emulate them but often don’t know how to go about achieving this. The good news is that confidence is a learned behavior that, with daily practice, will enable you to be more self-assured both professionally and personally. There are four key areas to work on that are within everyone’s abilities.
Knowing What You Want
Before you can speak up for something, you need to know what you want, says Susie Moore, life and career coach. For example, if you want to ask for a raise at work, you need to be able to express how much more money you want as well as have an idea of acceptable counter offers. Before any type of situation where you will be asking for something, make sure you have clear ideas of what it is you want and how you plan to go about getting it. If you need to get volunteers for your PTA project, be prepared with specific details of what needs to be done and some tactics to convince people to help. It’s all about the preparation so you will be able to speak confidently when you make your pitch.
Be Willing to Change
Sometimes in order to learn a new behavior, we have to let go of our old ways of thinking. If you go into a job interview believing you will blow it; you will! Positive thoughts are crucial to being confident. Whenever you feel a negative thought seep into your mind, stop and consciously replace that thought with a positive one. If you are going to a party or work function, set your mind to believing that you are an interesting person who has much to offer before you leave your home. By the time you arrive at the event, you will walk in with an assured attitude, ready to initiate conversations without breaking a sweat.
You are Good Enough!
Many of us feel that we are never good enough. We are not a good enough parent, spouse, worker, etc. This is usually caused by comparing ourselves to others and feeling we fall short. Realizing that everyone is different and we all have our strengths and weaknesses is the first step to discontinuing the practice of comparison thinking. Next, you need to reaffirm new beliefs about yourself. A great way to do this is to prepare some affirmations that you can place around your home on notes, states Moore. Address those areas where you feel “less than” such as stating you are a great mother, a wonderful and loyal friend, an excellent employee or a woman of empowerment. When you are waiting in line at the grocery store, say them over in your mind. With practice, these affirmations will become your new feelings and beliefs.
Own Your Space
When we are feeling anxious and uptight, we tend to slump our shoulders and cross our arms to make ourselves small and shut off from the world. Here is another area where practice is the key. Moore advises to stand up straight and tall when you enter a room. Sit up straight at the office meeting, and stroll into a party with your head held high. Taking up more physical space with your presence exudes confidence. In the comfort of your home, imagine yourself in different scenarios and practice your posture and body movements. It may feel weird and uncomfortable at first, but if you continue to practice, it will become second nature.
The More Confident You
Once you have put effort into learning these behaviors and revamping your feelings, the new more confident you will emerge. You will be that person you admired who speaks up confidently at meetings, sits in the front row at presentations, works the room at a party and speaks clearly about what he or she wants. You will live your life without regret or apologies, encouraging others by your actions to do the same.