BOOSTING YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE BY SILENCING YOUR INNER CRITIC

There are times when something comes out of your mouth that was never intended. That is when your negative inner voice starts to take over your thoughts for making that mistake. It screams inside your head, “You are such an idiot…” You often continue to play out the scenario in your head and the merciless inner voice continues to berate you long after the incident. This type of background talk can seriously damage self-confidence. How is it that some people know how to take control and turn off that negative voice, while others can’t seem to address it and let it go? If a friend spoke to you like that, you would walk the other way and never look back. Why do you accept it from yourself? Here are some ways to silence your inner critic.

Acknowledge It and Really Listen to That Negative Voice

As the negative internal dialogue circles around in your head, you need to take a moment to acknowledge that it is only your inner voice talking and really listen to it as objectively as possible. Often these thoughts stem from your insecurities that are without merit. Sometimes it is your way of not letting your guard down because of the fear that if you do, you might slack off. Actively listening to what it is saying often makes you realize that it is silly and undeserved. Remember that if you wouldn’t say it to a friend, you shouldn’t say it to yourself.

Talk Back to Your Inner Voice

That inner critic is often attacking and undermining you in an effort to protect you from the shame of failure. This can date back to your fears of disapproval from a parent or caretaker. That is why this inner voice often sounds so authoritarian. If you internalize what it is saying, you join in on its demands and shame. By talking back to its negative stream, and refuting its demands with reason, you can disarm it and move on.

Be Productive

Sometimes, your negative thoughts are based upon real issues that you know need to be addressed. If there are parts of your life that need to be improved, you need to do something about them. Addressing the issue disarms the negative talk in your head. For example, if you know that you are going to be late on a work deadline, that inner voice will nag you mercilessly. Because you know it is true, you will begin to criticize yourself continually. This is definitely not productive. Instead, you need to take real steps to improve by setting goals and keeping track of your progress. As you gradually address these issues, you will replace negative thoughts with positive ones which will silence that inner critic.

Rethink How You See Others and Use Compassion

If you are critical and judgmental of other people, you are setting yourself up with the idea that it is okay to be critical of yourself. Try holding off on being a gossip and making negative judgements of others. Practice compassion instead. You will then understand that you need to have self-compassion as well. When that inner voice nags at you that not enough was done today, you can respond to it by thinking that you did the best you could, given the amount of work on your plate at the moment. This compassion can retrain your brain so your inner voice becomes less critical and more caring.

Drown Out the Negative with Positive

Sometimes the only way to drown out a negative inner voice is to tell it positive statements. By giving yourself a pep talk when we you are feeling real critical, it can remind you of the wonderful, confident person you are. A good idea is to keep a note in your cell phone listing your strengths and read through it when you are hearing those negative thoughts. This self-affirmation dissipates the negative, reminds you how capable you are, and assures you that you can take on whatever life sends your way.